There Is Nothing Wrong With You

There Is Nothing Wrong With You

My Dad used to say with a wink, “there is nothing like a good shtupping to make you feel better.” Well (cringe) he said many inappropriate things with his dirty sense of humor and we just rolled our eyes and groaned. But a little intimacy and pleasure seem like a much better choice than many of the self-help remedies being marketed to people these days, not to mention all the pills and supplements that promise cures and then mention- in small type- dozens of potential side effects. It all starts with the premise: Something is not right in your life.

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Rules Matter Unless They No Longer Make Sense

Rules Matter Unless They No Longer Make Sense

I was never great at following directions or rules. I always tried to rework everything and asked too many questions. It was more why and why not than okay and I accept. I spoke up and disregarded people who told me to “shut up.” Rules do matter. Guidelines are good. But if they no longer make sense and seem archaic, then speak up and figure out a way to rewrite the rules. For years – centuries- we’ve lived in a country where rules and laws were made and set by a majority of men. But times change and rules should as well to stay current with the times. They need need revisiting, especially when

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My Dad Wasn’t Perfect. And I Forgive Him.

My Dad Wasn’t Perfect. And I Forgive Him.

My Dad told off-colored jokes, made suggestive comments about women and was the first to plant kisses on a woman’s cheek and embrace her without asking. He did it all with a sense of humor and good nature because he thought women were amazing. He married an exceptional one and raised another and he put us both on pedestals. When I’d blush or roll my eyes at his off-color comments, he’d laugh and nudge me saying, “Melanie, your Dad’s just a Dirty Old Man.” People who knew my Dad would understand that he would never do anything to intentionally insult

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When a Moment Counts, You Learn To Count Every Moment

When a Moment Counts, You Learn To Count Every Moment

The call came. A friend died. It was unexpected. Our friend had been living with cancer for several years but was managing well. We’re not sure what happened. There was an accident.  A head injury. Clots formed. After release from the hospital, all seemed fine. Then pain, clots, more treatment. All seemed to improve, until cardiac arrest stopped him in his tracks. Gone in a moment. A family left behind to pick up the pieces. I am haunted by the sequence of how it came to be; the what ifs roll through my head at night. There may be many factors involved in my friend’s death; cancer treatment compromises the body in

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When Green Is Not Your Best Color

When Green Is Not Your Best Color

Someone I know professionally who whose work requires her to travel to beautiful places recently commented that she wished people would refrain from saying “I’m jealous” when someone shares good news. She wrote, “Jealousy is not something to be proud of. It is an emotion that we all wrestle with but when the word jealousy is uttered in response to someone’s achievement, it makes the moment very uncomfortable. As if somehow that person is not deserving and what they have should really be yours. Expressing jealousy isn’t a compliment or expression of support.” Jealousy is a powerful emotion but not

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Just Because It’s Good for You Doesn’t Mean It’s Right for You

Just Because It’s Good for You Doesn’t Mean It’s Right for You

I am pitched on a range of products and protocols that are intended to be good for you. They claim to improve your health and well-being. I keep an open mind, but I always peer into the science behind the statements. I question, “How does this work for women of all ages and backgrounds and when does it not appropriate for someone?” I’ve been schooled in the “not one diet fits all” theory of healthy eating. There are general guidelines to follow: eat more plants, leaner protein, and better fats; consume less sugar and simple carbohydrates; avoid processed foods; drink

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The Joy of Solitude

The Joy of Solitude

  This is a love note to all the single ladies. I was once among you for many years. Sometimes I feel among you again. My husband travels quite a bit to drink wine in far-off locales. There are many joys of solitude that I have rediscovered when David is away. Some of them apply to the joys of solo travel as well. Here are a few: You can eat what you want and when you want. Dinner does not have to be on the table at a certain time. You can eat dessert for breakfast and breakfast for dinner,

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Staring at a Blank Page

Staring at a Blank Page

Blank pages: Stare at them or start writing. Tear them up or make an airplane to fly. Your choice. #fearlessfabulousyou   Happy New Year! I just turned a new chapter in the book of my life. I am still staring at a blank page wondering how I choose to fill it. The keyword is “choose.” My January 1st birthday ended in “zero.” I celebrated in a way to completely forget about my age to focus on being with friends in beautiful places, enjoying copious amounts of good wine, generous laughter and a starlit night bursting with New Year’s Eve fireworks on a

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Want to Appear Ten Years Younger? Try This…

Want to Appear Ten Years Younger? Try This…

Lie about your age? That’s right! If you are anywhere upwards of age fifty or older and reconsidering a new job or career, or re-entering the job market, you may need to lie about your age and your experience on your resume. That’s what I have learned after having an executive recruiter review and rewrite my resume. I was shocked! She told me to: Shave 10 years off my experience (aka “age”) Add as many computer skills as possible Add my college grade point average and remove the year I graduated Change my address to New York City Blur dates It was

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Never Silence a Songbird. Never Dash a Dream.

Never Silence a Songbird. Never Dash a Dream.

I recently watched a movie about the Italian singer, Andrea Bocelli. There is a defining scene where an opera critic tells Bocelli he doesn’t have a voice for opera. Bocelli vows never to sing again. A friend convinces Bocelli to work with an operatic voice coach and not give up. Bocelli went on to become one of the world’s most renowned tenors. Imagine if Bocelli had just listened to that one critic.   When the actor, Sidney Poitier auditioned for a role early in his career, he was told to “stop wasting people’s time and go out and become a

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Don’t be Blindsided  Because You Lack Long-Term Vision

Don’t be Blindsided  Because You Lack Long-Term Vision

Sometimes we’re so busy moving through life just getting the work done in front of us that we don’t see what lies ahead. Long-term vision is important to help you reach your life or career goals, but too often we’re wearing blinders. So, what happens? You can get blindsided. You wake up one day and realize time slipped away and you are further from where you hoped to be. Maybe you find your career has languished, or a relationship falters, or finances are stagnant. Whatever it is, you wonder, “can I ever get back on track?” Of course, you can.

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